Dark Deities and Riding Power

So. I had originally planned to write some kind of a post – a day late, no less – about Samhain, the thinned out veil, various ancestors who have headed out this past year (or other years, just to name them), and then I didn’t.

Instead, I found this post, over at Root and Rock, and realized that, in my own practice (such as it is), I don’t actually have any “dark” deities.

My household gods are all pretty positive/non-scary. Even the one gal who throws the life-experience equivalent of bowling balls at me any time she figures I could do with a good shaking up… isn’t scary. Maybe it’s because I went looking for relationships with deities (or not?), or maybe it’s because I’m a bit like Miss Sugar and tend not to be inclined towards the whole GodSlave Thing, or maybe I’ve just really managed to dodge a bullet so far, but… my Girls don’t make me tremble. They don’t give me reason to cower or cringe from them.

I’m… Look. I’m pretty-much endlessly fascinated with the Fierce Chicks. Whether they’re human girls I crushed on in high school or deities I’ve glancing at out of the corner of my eye for years, Powerful Women get my attention. This is going to start sounding like a post for the kink blog in a minute, but… the thought of containing that power, holding it, making it soft with me where it’s totally unyielding with the rest of the world… there’s a big part of me that wants to take up that challenge and show Whoever It Is that I’m capable of handling it, and them, really, really well.

The trick is: I’m not that skilled with this when it comes to humans and – just barely – I’ve got enough self-awareness (or self-preservation?) to know that trying to hold power with/over/for a god is, perhaps, a very, VERY bad idea.
Part of me wants to find out what it’s like to ride that, do that calling in, become the devourer.
Part of me is… cautious[1], afraid that I would burn up in the doing of it, that I wouldn’t be able to control my own trajectory (for lack of a better word); afraid that they wouldn’t let me go; afraid that I wouldn’t want to stop[2].

So… Yeah. Something more to ponder about this stuff but… it’s something I wonder about, even if my fascination is more like being fascinated by a lightning storm: It’s really awesome from a distance. Still awesome, but a lot more dangerous, when it’s directly over your head.

I would love to hear comments from people who do Drawing Down about the experience of being “god-drunk”, the repercussions, how to do it safely, how to discourage hangers on and/or encourage a developing relationship with the deity/ies in question, and anything else you’d care to throw in here.

TTFN,
Meliad the Birch Maiden

[1] And I don’t actually know how much of that caution is sensible versus how much of that caution is fear-based foolishness and unwillingness to Try New Things. It could really be 50/50 in this case, OR it could be heavily weighed in either of those directions.

[2] Because, apparently, I think that Drawing Down is like, what… Cocaine?

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