I can’t see // What’s right in front of me…

I have a friend whose patron deity lives in a particular spot in her house – her perch, if you will.  Unlike my own gods (who are on the Very Small side, afaik), her Lady is a big name goddess who’s been around for a LONG time.
Her perch was pointed out to me.
But I didn’t feel a thing.

Well, maybe a bit of a tickle, although I got more of that from her altar-space than from the perch.

This is pretty much par for the course with me.

To hear my friends tell it, my house is FULL of little spirits, small gods, guardians, and the occasional ancestor (most typically my Dad, by the sounds of it). But I’m  rarely aware enough of them to feel so much as a stirring in the air or a tickle at the back of my mind.

Part of me is deeply relieved about this.  It’s a one-bedroom apartment.  Two humans, two jade plants, a philodendron, a miniature rose, occasional unwelcome and tenacious insects (aargh), and one, small parrot are MORE than enough (especially with regard to the insect populations) lives to fill that space.  I’m glad my non-corporeal family is in the house, too.  But I’m also glad that I’m not trying to slide between them on my way from the bedroom to the kitchen, or out onto the balcony with the watering can in hand.

The other part of me, though, is sad (or something like it).  I feel like I’m walking through life blind, rather than walking through life with my eye-protection on – which is what folks who can’t stop seeing/hearing/experiencing the non-corporeal world may feel is called for.

Part of me wants to find a way to open those doors (or eyes, as the case may be), but I’m afraid that, if I find one, there won’t be a way for me close them again and, for all intents and purposes, I’ll basically Go Crazy. Which would not be good. :-\

Thoughts? Suggestions? Anybody?

Cheers,
Meliad the Birch Maiden.

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