So, as you know bob, we’ve done a bit of a kitchen re-org chez nous.
The kitchen is (almost) back to functional. I spent most of today putting stuff back in cupboards and throwing expired products (including about 12 packages of ramin that “went off” in 2009 – woops – and a tin of mangos that were… on the dry side at this point) into the compost. We sent one big bag and one huge box of recycling out of the apartment (YAY!) and I lit up all my altars and smoked the house with Dragon’s Blood.
Everyone got incense. Ylang Ylang for Mitzu (my Solar Lady who handles sex, money, and courage, among other things); Into The Night (a blend of sandalwood, violet, rose, and tuberose) for Maia – it’s supposed to be a “tribute to the earth” but I took one look at it and knew it was for my Lady of the Moon (and creativity, and queerness, and wodge of other things); Cedarwood for Mataer (my lady of Earth and hearth and rootedness); Lily of the Valley for Misha (who is all green things, and who handles stuff like adventure and trying new things); Makaa got the Dragon’s Blood after I’d smoked the house, as she handles Thresholds and Crossroads (of all possible kinds) as well as luck, chance, and coincidence; and my ancestors got Myrrh (and a home-made soy-wax candle featuring sweet orange, clove, and vanilla).
Speaking of my Ancestors. They have their own altar-spot now.
The way I’d had things arranged, my shrine/altar to Makaa (who also handles the gate(s) of Life and Death – like I said, thresholds and crossroads) took up the whole of a three-level shelf made by my mom’s dad (decades ago, now), and all the photos I have of my various ancestors and relatives were hanging on the wall above it. (How it was laid out: Lowest shelf = statue of Makaa; Middle shelf = beaded spider-web coaster + steel dish holding two incense burners (upright) and a tealight; Top shelf = japanese vase/cup full of crow feathers + one duck femur and one chicken wishbone). Typically, if I wanted to offer something to my ancestors, I’d do it through Makaa’s altar.
Which is fine.
However. Today, while getting set to take out the compost (I deliver it to a green bin around the corner from me – we don’t vermifuge or anything, in order to discourage creepy-crawlies from taking up (further) residence), I tossed my shawl on and – oh, look – knocked that cup of feathers right off its shelf. It shattered. All over the entrance way.
And one newly-emptied shelf on my altar.
So I decided that it was a Sign.
I gathered up three of the feathers, the duck femur, and the chicken wishbone, and arranged them around/on/with the statue of Makaa. She seems quite alright with this. (More on that sortly). Then I set up the new altar-spot for my ancestors.
Currently it’s literally just a home-made candle and an empty tealight cup that contains a burner-plate for incense cones. I’m hoping to add something further (a doily made by one of my grandmothers, bits of their old jewelry, or some other Thing that came from my ancestors – besides the shelf it’s all sitting on, I mean). But for now, that’s what I’ve got going on. I’m glad to have it. It’s about time I did that. (Thanks, Random Chance — wait, who did I say handled random chance? Oh, yeah…)
So. About the “more on that shortly”. I don’t tend to open myself up very often. It’s (big surprise) very vulnerable-feeling, and I’m never entirely sure how well I’ll do at breaking the link once I’ve opened up and established it. I know I should be fine and don’t have anything to worry about. My Girls look out for me and they’re not Huge Big Deities (so they’re not overpowering – for folks who work with Huge Big Deities… do you find this to be the case with your gods? Or is my guess just way off base?). None the less, the rocking and the dizziness that comes with the territory can be a bit Woah, if you know what I mean.
But, yeah. I Opened Up today, just to check in with Makaa. See, the incense burner-plate? That was her’s. She did have two of them, but I wanted to make sure she was okay with me shifting one over to someone else’s spot.
Now, I’ve heard distress/upset/Not-Cool from her before. It feels like the air starts clanging. Big bronze/brass cowbells going all “WAH! NO! WTF??? NO!” at me, in no uncertain terms. So when I opened myself up and got nothing but a “Yes, we’re connected, everything’s cool”, I figured everything’s dandy, so I shifted it over.
I’ve since lit everyone’s altars up (see above), and things seem to be going swimmingly, so three cheers for that. YAY! 😀
However. What I wanted to write down was how it felt to be open to Makaa.
See, she deals with death, right?
So maybe this isn’t surprising.
But, when I’m open to her (today, at least), the air gets thick and hard to breath, and it tastes like grease and old bones.
I went to my knees with her today. Had to break eyecontact and look elsewhere to get my breath back, and to get the air feeling normal and, well, fully oxygenated(?) again.
So that was my Big Deal experience for the day.
It’s not particularly weird that Talking to her would feel like not being able to get enough air but… it’s still a bit of a Thing.
Anyway. Now I know. 🙂
Meliad the Birch Maiden.