D is for Devotions – Pagan Blog Project 2013

I’m writing this piece a few days early, mid-week while the snow floats gently down outside the window and the temperature fluctuates just enough to push it towards rain every now and then. (It’s that time of year).
I’m hoping to spend this Friday afternoon chatting with a friend about spiritual bdsm, sacred kink, and some experiences they had last summer and need to talk through with someone who wasn’t there. If this happens, I’ll talk about it (not the content, but the activity of Discussion) in my next D prompt.
Today though, writing this week’s PBP13 post, I’m inclined to use this post as a spring board for my own writing.
 
Dver talks about something that I can relate to a lot. I get distracted – have a week of modeling, have meetings at awkward times on a given Friday, have guests – little things that, honestly, can be really easily worked around (totally NOT crises), and I put off my offerings for a day, or two days, or a week, …or a month… or…
You get the picture.
 
I’ve talked about this before with regards to my boiling water offerings. I get self-conscious about doing that particular devotion – because it’s so clearly what it is (I suspect this is part of why she wanted it in the first place, but then again I may not have needed to throw in all the recognitions and what-not that I do when I do this thing) – and so I try to hide it from other humans (even my wife, who knows all about it and, hey, delivered the message to begin with) because I feel all WEIRD about it.
Right now, I’m offering candles[1] to my People every week (which is handy because I don’t feel all WEIRD about that – candles are just candles to, say, any company that I have coming over – Once they’re lit, I can just let them do their thing and get on with conversations or what-have-you).
I was late this past weekend – offering them on Sunday rather than Friday – and I felt it. Antsy and anxious, really uncomfortable. And then I got it done on Sunday and immediately felt better.
 
I mean, yeah, maybe it was smoking the house with myrrh that cleared out the emotional clutter, but… I keep reading these blog entries (not that I can find any of them right now, of course . Oh, wait, here’s one from Del) talking about how, when a spirit worker says “Then [my Person] told me to do X” they were (usually) actually dealing with a somewhat involved process of navigating intuition, FEELINGS, hunches, fascinations, and nagging thoughts at the back of their mind[2].
 
So, with that in mind, I’m inclined to think that [getting the offering done] and [feeling noticeably and immediately better about everything] were… probably related. I don’t know if that feeling was my gods (one or all of them) going “Ahhh, finally” or if I just wasn’t feeling like a douche about it anymore but, either way. There you go.
 
Anyway.
 
How this relates to devotions.
I just (at the time of this writing) did a boiling water offering. Because, hey look, I totally let that one go and maybe that was a bad idea. I mean, nothing’s been going wrong (YAY!), and everyone seems to be enjoying the candles that I’m handing out, but…
Look, giving someone good cheese is lovely. Giving someone good cheese when they made a point of telling you they really like fancy tea is… still lovely, but you’re also ignoring the informtion they gave you about Stuff They Like, which… why would you do that?
So I did water today.
 
On the subject of letting your devotions lapse, Dver says:
[…Your] sense of closeness with the gods will weaken the longer you starve it. And then it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle – you feel bad or guilty or empty so you shy away from approaching Them, and that absence (you from Them, not Them from you) only serves to make the bad feelings worse as time goes on.
 
And can I ever relate to THAT! She says that each step you take towards climbing out of your pit – particularly the first one – will make each subsequent step that much easier. I need to remember that. Every time I shrug and say “I’ll do it in an hour” or “Crap, my ride will be here in ten minutes and I don’t want anything burning while I’m gone”; every time I don’t do yoga or otherwise move my body; every time I don’t write down these bits and pieces of my journey; I need to remember: Take the next step. Don’t fall into the pit.
 
 
Maybe this post hasn’t made a tonne of sense. But I’m going with it.
 
 
TTFN,
Meliad the Birch Maiden.
 
 
[1] This week, due to my being late, I actually set little energetic flames in all the candle dishes. I’m thinking they might still be there – or at least still have been there when I set the real candles alight the next day, because wow did those candles ever burn way faster than usual. O.O I could be wrong, but… thoughts?
 
[2] Sometimes, not so much. See: Boiling Water Offerings and my Mattaer going to Ghost and straight up telling her “Hello, I’m from the kitchen. Tell her I want boiling water”.

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