M is for Meditation – Pagan Blog Project 2013

M is for a lot of things – Mentruation is one of them[1]. Magic is another (since my first Pagan Identity was “witch, as in spell-caster[2]”, this is kind of massively relevant for me). Music and Mysteries and the names of all of my Goddesses (Maia, Misha, Mitzu, Mattaer, and Makaa, if you’re Nasty), are all things that M is for.
And yet, weirdly, I’m not actually going to talk about any of them (much) and will, instead, focus on M is for Meditation.
Who knew?
 
So. As-you-know-bob, I did a session with Sofia Wren earlier this week. The upshot of this, among other things, is that I went out and found some chakra-cleansing meditations on youtube and proceeded to do them.
 
Look. In my case, meditation isn’t much of anything. I’m not zen, I have a relatively short attention span, and I tend to want to multitask regardless of what I’m doing. And this youtube video was basically just a deep-breathing exercise.
But.
I think it might actually be helping.
 
The throat chakra is all about communication – everything from Saying What You Mean to tapping into your creative expression to singing to getting your thyroid moving (I dunno), to Using Your Words, to poetry and prose and oration, to comfort with public speaking – and it’s also one that I’ve had some… stuff… with for years.
 
Years of people telling me to shut up
Years of fearing to Use My Words
Years of Not Singing in spite of all my training
Years, for that matter, of voice training followed by a complete stop and a year-long hiatus (and then twelve more years of just not singing much or well or properly)
Frequent bouts of doubting that my work (my singing, my writing, my teaching) was any good
My slimy ex-husband actively tried to close my throat chakra one night (he couldn’t do it, the fucker. Ha! Power to me!)
…Stuff like that.
 
And I’ve taught something like 16 people about local fruit.
And I’ve had Part Two of a story that got shelved in 2010 just start coming out of me. (Please let this turn into a novel – that would be AWESOME!)
And I’ve been singing, just sort of for the hell of it, but without getting a scratchy throat afterwards, for the past two days.
 
So… Maybe this is helping? 🙂
 
Gosh I hope so! 😀
 
 
TTFN,
Meliad the (Musical) Birch Maiden
 
 
[1] As a (cis) chick, my worth as a commodity human being is frequently reduced to the assumption that I have a cunt and speculations as to whether or not I have a functioning, as-yet-untouched, and available-for-ownership reproductive system in addition there-to. See: Texas, street harrassment, marital rape, reproductive coersion, telling a nine year old that she “asked for it”, saying hookers “can’t get raped”, and the entire rest of The Patriarchy / Rape Culture for details.
I may wind up doing a post on this one after all but… not today.
 
[2] I see this as a bit like “Queer as in fuck you”, personally. But that’s just me, and it might be just today.