A is for Augury – Pagan Blog Project 2014

Augury, of course, is fortune-telling. As is my wont, I did a grand cross spread for The Year Ahead with special attention to the stuff I’ve talked about here and here.
This is what I got (NOTE: It’s a really picture-heavy post, so be warned):

I use the Osho Zen Tarot deck because it’s talkative in ways that I find more playing-card-style decks aren’t. Also it’s pretty, what can I say?
 
Entire Spread
 
What I notice looking at the spread as a whole is that it includes a primarily Air (urk…) and Fire (yay!) cards. Given the subject of the reading, I’m not entirely surprised by this.
The Air suit, at least in my experience, is very much about the “Old Tapes” that play in our heads, about the internalized Rules that keep us bound to whatever set of expectations we think we’re supposed to be living up to. Whether that’s “Lord Domly Dom” or “Good Girls Don’t” or “People will hate/fear (people will leave) you if you show them your real self”.
The suit of Fire, particularly in this deck, but also just generally, is about both creativity and drive, two things that I’m kind of wrestling with right now, particularly in conjunction with my own internalized expectations and fears.
I think it’s Interesting that the spread is bookended with Earth cards (abundance, self-sufficiency, interdependence, coming into one’s own), though I admit I’m surprised at how few Major Arcana cards are turning up in this spread.
 
Right.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
 
Fell Out of Deck plus Signifier
 
As I was shuffling the deck, the 10 of Earth fell out. When I do readings, cards that fall out of the deck are cards that are of particular note. Similar to the Advisor card (coming up towards the end of the spread), but with that much more input from Whoever is doing the Talking.
In this case, I was asking about things like “how am I going to make this work”, so I’m inclined to think that “We Are The World” is a confirmation that “it’s all related”, rather like the whole “ecosystem” thing that Sophia talked with me about, back in June.
 
My Signifier is “Turning In”, the Four of Water. The four, in any given suit, tends to be a bit of a “landing”, if you will. A resting spot. But I… I kind of doubt that this is what I’ll be getting, particularly given the Nine of Fire that’s coming up, as well as a number of different “wake up, kiddo” cards in strategic spots through the spread. I suspect this “Turning In” is more about Person Growth and getting out of some kind of denial or rut or something than it is about “pausing to reflect”.
Oh goody.
 
Onwards!
 
Central Cross
 
You can only just see it in the picture, but my “situation” card is “Beyond Illusion”. See above re “Wake Up, Kiddo” (it’s the 20 of Major Arcana and so corresponds with Judgement). My crossing card, which shows the influences or complications of the situation, is “Silence” – the 17 of Major Arcana, which you might know better as “The Star” – which also connects to “Turning In”, albeit on a slight different level. What I get from this is that my situation this year is going to involve some “getting real” and some deep diving/digging in order to get a handle on my self and my purpose.
Given some of the… wobbles or stumbles or… Major Life Questions(?) that have been plaguing me of late, I have to say I’m really relived to see Silence – with its promise of hope, as well as its connotations of spirituality and inspiration – directly effecting my Situation card. I… have an idea of where I’m aiming, and, okay, yes, it’s possible that I’m reading my cards in order to line up with that intention. But, frankly, I’m just glad that there’s nothing in this spread to suggest that my intention is entirely the wrong direction or bound for some sort of disaster. Seriously. I’ll take it. 🙂
 
Moving right along, we come to the Past and Future cards.
My Past Card (on the left) is “Celebration” (the Three of Water). I’ve always understood this to be my “poly card” and, yes, the past couple of years have involved me getting the hang of polyamoury, have involved us setting up the beginnings of what appears (more and more) to be a poly phamily. I spent New Year’s Day with most of them, which is… utterly wonderful. Completely perfect. Which, duh, doesn’t mean that there aren’t bumps (that card is reversed, after all), but… yeah. I hope that seeing this card in the Past position means that, for the moment at least, I can have a bit of a break from the constant Poly Processing. 😉
My Future Card, on the other hand (and on the right), is “Suppression” – the 10 of Fire.
Because it’s a ten, and also because Southern Fire is directly opposite Northern Earth if we look at it from a cardinal points perspective, I think it’s safe to say that my Future card is in direct (dynamic?) opposition to the card that fell out of the deck. This card tells us “You already have the tools you need to climb out of this pit that you’re in” and, I think, the implication is that, if I use the damn tools and do the damn climbing, I will get myself to the position of “We Are The World”, the joyful, fulfilling abundance that I’m seeking. Which is a good sign, even though it – along with a number of other cards – is also telling me that the climb is not going to be particularly pleasant.
Heh. Miss Sugar recently posted about her prediction for 2014 – that we’re going into the depths, essentially – and I think she is correct in this regard. I am dead terrified of what I’ll see in the obsidian glass. Here be dragons, I suspect. :-\
 

Moving right along.
Conscious and Unconscious Influences. Yes, I know. There are a lot of different ways to phrase what the cards in these positions are talking about. None the less, this is the clearest way for me to parse them, so that’s what I’m going with.
Unsurprisingly, my unconscious influence in “Conditioning” – which corresponds to “The Devil” and is the only other MA card in my spread. “Conditioning” and I go way back and, yes, it’s a direct link to all those Air cards and the “old tapes” playing in my head. All that stuff about “what I’m allowed to be” and “what I’m expected to be”. It may be these specific Illusions that I have to get Beyond, the nastiest opponent in the climb out of Supression’s pit. It wouldn’t surprise me, anyway.
My conscious influence, unexpectedly (or maybe not?) is “Ripeness”, the Nine of Earth… I can’t help thinking “The Time Is NOW!” at the sight of this one. But maybe the time is now. I spent a lot of last year getting into, and maintaining, some personal ritual (and not-so-ritual) routines around things like offerings, yes, but also around things like taking time to write, making myself do the word-count, and stuff like that. I know that this year, there will be more pushes in these directions on top of keeping the original stuff going. That’s good. I… I look at the Nine of Earth – nines tend to mean “You’re right on the cusp of something BIG, don’t wait! – and the Ten of Fire and the Ten of Earth to come… and I get the impression that this is going to be a serious “PUSH” year.
Eugh.
I hate pushing. I hate exhaustion (see 9 of Fire, coming up). But fine-okay-fine. Push it is. Fuck. I think Maia might be behind this one. At least I get the impression that she’s chuckling. (Thanks hon – no, really – it’s good to feel her here after such a long time).
 
Internal vs External View
 
Next up, we have the corresponding pair of “View from Within (the situation)” and “Outsider’s Perspective”.
You know that thing where, when you’re right in the middle of something and you’re just slogging away, and it feels like you’re getting nowhere? That’s “Exhaustion”. At least in this position. The Nine of Fire links up neatly (for a given, nightmarish value of “neatly”) with the Nine and Ten of Earth and the Ten of Fire, creating a multidirectional push – gawds, not a hammer and an anvil, please – towards that “Beyond Illusion” situation. (Why do I think “beyond illusion” is something I’m meant to be aiming for? It’s not just the situation card. My outcome card points in this direction, too).
Contrasted with this “Internal View” card is my “Outsider’s View”. The Outsider is the one who can see how far you’re getting, or how this is Clearly Meant To Happen, while you are too busy struggling through the undergrowth to see the light in the distance, let alone the whole Big Picture of the Forest.
My “External View” card is an emotion card, the Ace of Water – “Going with the Flow” – one which implies that, even as I’m struggling and scraping and feeling totally worn out, I’m still doing what I’m meant to do, following the path or the course that I’m meant to be following. “Clearly this is meant to happen”. I can only hope, right? Also, quite honestly, an individual floating in the river? That’s me in my element, right there.
I am choosing to read this card as a bit of a reassurance. It won’t be easy, but it will be What’s Supposed To Happen, and if it’s Supposed To Happen, then I’d like to hope my Ladies will be right behind me (possibly with a cattle prod, okay) urging me on. That would be a help. 🙂
(Be careful what you wish for… )
 
Hopes-Fears and Outcome w Clarification Card
 
Another Ace – I feel like I should point out at this time that the aces in this deck aren’t starting points, they’re fruition-actualization points – this one, the Ace of Air: “Consciousness”. This is what you get once you get Beyond Illusion, once you stop listening to the old tapes and trying to live up to inappropriate expectations that don’t fit who you really are.
And, yeah, it’s reversed, so it’s a Fear as much as (or more than?) it’s a Hope. I said, above, that I’m afraid of what I’ll see if I look into the dark, powerful mirror of Know Thyself. Consciousness, once you take it out of the context of Zen Buddhism, is Knowing Thyself. Everything you are, even the bits you don’t like. Even the bits that scare you. :-\
And then there’s the outcome.
It took me so long to get to a point where I could even look at this card without getting angry. What is says to me – perhaps tellingly – is “What you are behind that smiling mask is a monster. If anyone sees your real face, they’ll be horrified”. (Now go and look at that lion, bound in sheepskin, over at “Conditioning”, why don’t you…)
Yeah…
It took me a long time to see this as anything but Bad. “Politics”?? A manipulative snake behind a pleasing face? Ick!!!
But…
I also understand it as the “show your real face” card. “Be honest, even if it’s going to suck in the short term, because it will be better in the long run to have done it”.
The seven of Air, which corresponds to the Seven of Swords, can allude to “breaking free, doing things your own way and abandoning group ideals”. If I read it this way, I can link it to the struggle to climb out of a pit of internalized conditioning, all those old tapes telling me what I can’t or shouldn’t do, what I can’t have, what can’t possibly work out.
With that in mind, I drew a clarification card (I admit, I tend to do this when the card that shows up is one I’m not particularly happy to see…) in order to shed some light on exactly what this face-showing behaviour is all about.
A hope of “what’s in it for me” but also a lot of “Do I Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave to???”
Yeah…
On the plus side, my clarification card was the Six of Fire: “Success”.
It’s reversed, so it’s not going to be an easy success. There may be some “I’m very disappointed in you” to deal with – in reality or on those old tapes – as I’m pushing my way into whatever success this scary-radical honesty is likely to bring me. But still. Success. That’s a relief! O.O
 
Of course, we aren’t really done yet. There is still the advisor card to draw, plus the overarching (current) and underlying (coming down the pike) influences to look at:
 
Advisor plus Overarching-Underlying
 
My advisor card, no surprises here, is “Mind”. The Knight of Air. A scary card to turn up, but very much one that says “This is all about the stories we tell ourselves about the world and our place in it”. My advisor says that I am, effectively, working in Personal Mythology territory this year. Cripes. Time to shake up the internal ant-farm, apparently, but hasn’t that been what the whole spread is about?
Yeah, pretty-much.
 
Still, there are not-so-scary influences happening here, too.
My over-arching influences card is “Totality”, the five of Fire that I always understand as “leap of faith”. It’s a card about trust. Trust the phamily, trust yourself, trust your skills, trust the story. Make it happen.
Juxtaposing this with my “underlying influences” card – “Flowering” (the Queen of Earth) – makes me think that… Okay. So if I take this leap of faith and go diving into my own internal abyss, if I risk looking into that dark mirror… when I crawl up and out of the pit… I will blossom. I will reign. 🙂
 
Worth trying for, I think.
I think. 🙂

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