The new moon was a week ago (almost two, at this rate) and, if nothing else, it contributed to my writing a new scene for The Novel. It was lovely to see her hanging up in the western sky as dark was falling (later and later – hurrah!). What’s happened since then?
The kefir went moldy. Yes, really. So I guess you do need to keep it in the fridge if you aren’t making it a single serving at a time. My ex(?) and I are going to chat on the phone this weekend, do some catching up, and maybe see how things are feeling. I don’t have a clue what to expect and I’m trying (to varying degrees of success) not to get anxious about it. I achieved (YAY!), but turned down, a “summer job”: I’d gone in looking for part-time, in Ontario (it’s the Census this year, in case you were wondering), and got offered full-time, in the ass-end of Gatineau, with a shift that would demand I get on a bus at about 5:45am – I’m not even sure if the bus in question is running at 5:45am – in order to make my connection. And, y’know, basically not see my wife all summer. So I turned it down. I’ve got a couple of modeling gigs booked for April already, so maybe things will be okay.
Magic-wise, I think the “show up and be seen” stuff – or maybe the wammy that I put on my mirror, or maybe both – has been working. My lovely wife says that I’ve “been looking good lately, but there’s more to it than that”.
I’m pulling towards my tarot cards again, wanting to dig into the course I started at the beginning of January and see what more I can learn. I’m trying to find my Sacred Spaces again. I look out the back window and see fresh, bright, GREEN chard leaves, with ruby-red stems, and I wonder if they were growing under the snow. That would be amazing. 🙂 I have a neighbour offering me basil seedlings. The garden is starting to call again, and so maybe that’s where I’ll have to go as the days get longer and Spring Equinox gets closer and closer.
I haven’t been to the river yet. This time, last year, I was hiking across the bridge every day and I’d pause to watch the rush and swell of the river in flood. All that energy coursing by and rearing up so close. I need to get my roots back into the water table, I think, see what kind of grounding I can manage.
MOTION – Now that most of the snow is melted and the sidewalks are easy to navigate, I’m able to get out walking more readily. My desk-job is about to take up an extra two hours a day (so less motion there), but by the time the first weekend in April rolls around, I will be SO ready to take myself out dancing. For now, I’m enjoying the fact that – most of the time – walking my errands doesn’t feel like a slog (or a scurry from one sheltered spot to the next). Spring Equinox is a week away, and I’m looking forward to the expansive time of year kicking off.
ATTENTION – Thinking a lot about expectations. What’s reasonable to want, and what’s maybe foolish of me to expect? What are my hidden expectations (hopes and fears, to call attention to that position in the Grand Cross tarot spread) in a given situation? How do I dig them up to get a good look at them, and then articulated them to the other people involved?
GRATITUDE – Thankful for: Adorable baby queers at the place where I do volunteer cooking. A kind and caring wife who is good at using her words and incredibly patient with me while trying to get me to use mine (apparently it’s like pulling teeth and I’ve been known to change the subject completely rather than answer a basic “How are you feeling?”) and who is going on a Hot Date with me tonight. Warm sunshine, short-lived rain storms, and clear sidewalks that I (probably) won’t slip on for another couple of seasons (fingers crossed). Friends who want to hang out while I’m in Toronto at the end of the month. People who care enough to follow through when they say they will, and to let me know in advance if plans are going to change.
INSPIRATION – My friend who spend this past week at a writing retreat. She says it’s the best thing she’s ever done, and has made All The Progress on her work, which is fantastic. My plan is to treat my Toronto Trip as a writing retreat of my own – whether I get my remaining two potential modeling gigs confirmed or not – and see what I can create while the Equinox energy is still running.
CREATION – Well, see above, re: Novel. I’ve been scribbling, sorting out character motivations, and writing dialogue (YAY!). I’ve also been researching for the Relationships Book, and have decided to make another two sweaters using the same pattern as the one I designed for the shrug I was finishing last time I wrote one of these MAGIC things. It worked out really well, so I’m making one in purple and one in pink (and keeping my eyes out for a rich, deep blue, too). I’ve also got a heap of new roving to spin (probably on the drop-spindle, as the Walking Wheel still needs some repairs) for use in a couple of weaving projects.
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