New Year New You 2016: Weeks 16 & 17 – Big Magic, Little Rituals, and Winter Solstice

I’m doing Miss Sugar’s New Year New You Experiment in Radical Magical Transformation (again) because I find it’s a really good way to kick my own ass into getting things done. You should try it!
 
Instructions: “This is a good week to work on shoaling […]. Make all your tiny magic fish into one big magic fish.” AND “[It’s] time to do a big ritual to further one or more of your goals.”
 
Tarot Cards: The High Priestess with a side-order of The Queen of Fire. The deep-digging and drawing-up of the High Priestess, the attention I’m giving to magically/energetically developing my Whale Heart, the energetic labour of reaching out (both to and for) and gathering together,of making space for others and letting my own light be visible and undeniable.
 
So… It’s been Solstice. Which is kind of a big ritual in and of itself, even when my version of it, this year, was super low-budget and not very fancy: I put up the holly garlands, but didn’t hang any ornaments from them. Our major nod to Seasonal Decor is a giant poinsettia that was gifted/off-loaded (either/or, works for me – thank you) from one of my temping clients on Friday afternoon, largely so that they wouldn’t come back to work in January to the sight of a giant, wilted poinsettia in their main foyer.
Last year, we hung the ornaments and lit everything (ineffectively) by candle light, which is how I normally do things. This year… I actually wanted to see where the food was and not trip over everything or spill the wine. So I kept the electric lights on. I’m sure there’s something symbolic about the marriage of Reason and Sensuality, or keeping one’s eyes open, or whatever and I’ll probably develop that thought As Needed over the next couple of days as I see Fam-of-O and weather potentially-difficult/painful Poly Family Gatherings. (I have a couple of escape plans for the latter, and can I just say Thank Fuck for the people who are looking out for me!)
This morning, I left a note on the FB Event for my annual Winter Solstice party (which has never been a Go Until Dawn kind of shindig, and is basically wine, cheese, chocolate, and conversation, all of-which I love, followed by In Bed By 1am, if not earlier, and re-hydrating like woah the next morning) telling all my guests (and all the folks who couldn’t make it out) how lucky I am to have such good people in my life, and how they bring the light back to me again and again.
It’s a thing that’s worth saying out loud, y’know?
 
My magic, these days, doesn’t look much like magic in the “whizz, bang” sense of the word. It’s not honey pots or actively-magical glamour – though the practice of wearing a Crown Of Light[1] has gotten a lot easier since I started doing it back in… May(?), and I don’t have to focus on it the whole time, or be wearing 14 layers of physical-world femme armour, to keep it in place. It’s more like prayer, gratitude practice, greeting my gods as and when I have the opportunity, recognizing those You’re On The Right Track moments[2], breathing myself all the way into my body.
One little bit of more “magicky” magic that I’ve been doing, though, is to use my little bottle of Unveiled – one of Miss Sugar’s limited edition ritual oils, from years ago – to anoint my heart-chakra/sternum while asking “let me see what’s really there”. This is both Energy Work (complete with visualizations and pushing energy around) and a prayer for (a) the chance to observe and recognize the ways that I actually am supported & cared for, as well as (b) the ability to discern the appropriate degree of personal investment for a given relationship based on how much the other person is actually There For Me.
Fingers crossed that this one will work.
 
As far as Big Rituals go, my Winter Solstice Shindig is kind of the big one I do every year. It’s not a “ritual” in the straight-up religious sense. But it’s a celebratory way to mark the turning of the year, to light up my altar and make offerings to my gods (and the crows), and to gather my people close. I’m a Kitchen Witch, and this is kind of What We Do.
With that in mind – perhaps unsurprisingly – a lot of the foods I prepared (more From Scratch than ever, this year, because I didn’t have the cash to just go out and buy baguettes, artichoke dip, rabbit terrine, or fancy cheese) for our Winter Solstice celebrations had a LOT of “love and protection” correspondences built into them. Part of that is just because a lot of common house-hold ingredients have those correspondences anyway. But the other part is that: This is what I need right now. To protect my heart without closing it. To actively care for people without putting myself in harm’s way. To risk, courageously, and open myself up to love and care (both giving and receiving it) while also giving myself permission to protect myself and put my own oxygen mask on first. So I built that into the foods I made and served during Celebration Time.
 
So that’s the magic I’ve been doing. The Good Witching of checking in with friends who may or may not have people to spend their holidays with, or who just started meds; the word-magic of speaking things aloud, of naming and claiming, calling out and calling in; the rallying of reinforcements when someone near and dear to me needs to know that they’re loved; the opening myself again and again (and messing it up, and falling back on old habits, and trying to do it better the next time), the changing consciousness at will (which is a longer process than Starhawk makes it sound in Spiral Dance, let me tell you). That’s the magic I’ve been doing. My witchcraft isn’t particularly subversive. But it works.
 
 
TTFN,
Meliad the Birch Maiden.
 
 
[1] What is says on the tin. I visualize putting on a crown that shows up like a spotlight on my hair. It’s based on a poem I wrote about being a figure model and how much easier it is to be bullet-proof when I’m NOT trying to look Put Together in clothes that were never designed to fit me, the last line of-which is “The light on your hair all the crown you’ll ever need”. It… seems to be fairly effective, as it turns out. 🙂
 
[2] Like yesterday, when I was right in the middle of stream-of-consciousness tweeting about a Thing that has dawned on me, and one of the ladies I was working for sashayed over and gifted me a bottle of nail polish just for the hell of it[3].
 
[3] I admit that I’m a little concerned at how my “you’re on the right track” markers seem to be seriously linked to Protestant-Capitalism’s interpretation of the Kalvinist Doctrine of Predestination, but… this seems to be working, so I’m going with it.

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2 responses to “New Year New You 2016: Weeks 16 & 17 – Big Magic, Little Rituals, and Winter Solstice

  1. Please to tell me more about Crown of Light?

    • So, I’m a cis lady who is a very odd size. Going clothes shopping – like anyone who has to try and cram their body into clothes that were not designed with them in mind – can be kind of a mine-field in terms of whether or not I can make something look like it’s fitting “like that” on purpose (and how I feel by the end of it is a TOTAL crap-shoot. Sometimes I feel great, but frequently I feel horrible – like “I am UGLY and Doing Girl Wrong” levels of horrible). I’ve talked to you about this before, I think.
      Figure modeling is almost always done in the nude. So, when I’m working a class or a community center, or whatever, what I’m wearing is light. It’s just my body being studied, with nothing in the way. No ill-fitting clothes. And the reaction to my body, and the way I move and hold still, is generally extremely positive. People call me graceful and classic and beautiful and elegant while also recognizing that what I’m doing is actually pretty difficult, physical labour. I get rewarded (financially but also emotionally) for performing my gender “well” in ways that generally don’t happen in Clothed World, while also having my bodily autonomy respected AND my physical strength, stamina, and endurance acknowledged. It’s kind of amazing. It’s one of the many reasons why I love-love-love my job.
      So.
      What I’m saying is that I feel powerful and beautiful and valuable (appreciated, skilled) when I’m under the spot-lights in a life-drawing class.
      So if I call up the feeling – the heat of that spotlight on the top of my head – I find that I can also evoke (draw out of myself) the… mindset? something? that lets people (including MYSELF!) read me as powerful-beautiful-valuable, as someone they appreciate, want to be around, want to give things to.
      How I do it is to make a circlet with my hands, and then lift a (visualized) crown – it’s a big, multi-rayed thing that’s equal parts Jadis and Mary Queen of Heaven, which I think you’ll appreciate – onto my head. Which, really, is just (“just”?) a way to help me place my own energy in the crown of my own head (which is also something I learned how to do in order to properly support and project the super-high “money-notes” when singing arias and what-not, so it’s something I’ve known how to do for a while, just putting it in a new context). It ups my Presence, if you will, and ups my Hey, You Totally Want to Pay Attention To Me vibes.
      I’ve been doing it for months, now, and the practice is paying off. At least I seem to be getting to the “making it” part of “fake it ’til you make it”, so I’m gonna go with that. 🙂

      Let me know if you have questions. 🙂

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