“Leaf Moon” is feeling like a somewhat less over-optimistic moniker. It’s still cold. The rainy afternoon didn’t actually turn to snow, but that was luck as much as anything else. I’ve been sipping soup, and clinging to my coffee mug for warmth. I even turned the heat back on.
That soup, while it was mostly just boiled-down bone stock plus a nest of glass noodles and a few pinches of dried garden sage, was also the first meal featuring 2018 garden veggies.
Yeah, you heard me! 😀
The Vietnamese garlic is up.
The dandelions and nettles are up.
The chives (garlic and onion/”typical”) are up.
And I harvested some today – just dashed out in the drizzle and snagged a handful (the nettles are so young that they mostly don’t sting yet. Mostly. Not “not at all”) of delicate baby greens to add to my soup. And it felt really good to do. They’ve added such a nice, bright, not-exactly-acidic flavour to my little, low-effort meal, and it just made it, y’know?
So I guess my “Happy Beltane” (a couple of days early, unless we’re talking Lunar Beltane) celebration is eating fresh-harvested veggies from my own yard.
Thank you all my beloved gods, my ancestors, the spirits of this place, for keeping us fed and holding us up. ❤
Which I guess brings me to this full moon in Scorpio.
Scorpio the deep-diver, Scorpio that is so linked to the Moon card in Tarot (patterns, instincts, cycles, and the secrets we keep from ourselves), Scorpio that is my Sun Sign. But also, because it’s Beltane, Scorpio the sex fiend.
At New Moon, I said my goal was the Find the Wonder. Writing this post, a couple of weeks later, after having applied for a Community Job (and with plans to apply for another office-oriented job, once the listing goes up), and having agreed to start sewing dog accessories again, it’s a good reminder to keep looking for that Wonder, to keep instilling daily activities with magic, with prayer, with holiness.
But, in addition to finding the Wonder, I also want to take this magnolia-blossom promise of a full moon in Scorpio, and find the pleasure.
I wore a ball gown to a birthday party last night, and told my numerous cute friends that they looked good. This morning, I set up a baking date with a friend – a former professional pastry chef – to make macarons from scratch in late May (Ms Sugar and her obsession with all things Aspirationally French would, quite possibly, be proud). I smeared “honey bear” massage balm across my sternum (heart chakra) and from hip to hip (delta of venus / second chakra), to call some sweetness and sensuality into my sexual and romantic energy centers and put on casual-&-comfortable but also eye-catching and pretty clothes that let me show off my own particular femme glory before heading out for an evening of listening to queer, femme poets and story-tellers talk about their wonderful new novels at Writersfest. I hugged my friend, who I haven’t been in the same room with in several years, and it was SO GOOD to see her, even if it was only for a few minutes (she’s here for work). I am sipping a “Pirate Princess” cocktail (Irish cream whiskey + spiced rum) as I’m writing this.
I keep thinking of the Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha poem “all my prayers to Oshun are like this”, where they say love is all this shit – meaning fresh produce and summer days just after the rain has cleared the humidity a bit and friends who love you and eye-catching, affordable, dangly earrings, and sharing cheap wine with wonderful people.
Love is all of this stuff. Not just the sex I may or may not be (having difficulty) having.
Which brings me to:
Tarot Card Meditation: Queen of Water
I am loving just how appropriate my meditation-draws are becoming.
Like the astro poets saying “Yes, Desire is endless” (which is maybe a bit more like this version of the Queen of Cups). Like how she is all about “deeply fulfilling pleasure, abundance, and thriving in both body and soul“.
Tomorrow will be a day for tidying the house – finding the sacred in doing this series of seriously mundane tasks, finding the pleasure in warm, soapy water, in lit candles, in an uncluttered coffee table, in (hopefully) open windows letting in the (hopefully) spring air. For running errands, for baking goodies (brownies, strata), and for lounging on my (tidy) couch, reading Casey Plett’s Little Fish while I wait for my company to arrive. To enjoy the oven’s warmth and the good smells that come with cooking. To enjoy the company of my friends. To find the wonder and the pleasure in all the little things I get to do.
Movement: Stretchy-bendy exercises and affirmations continue (though I have totally been slacking off today). Going dancing next weekend. Got out for a long walk on a lovely, warm enough (to sit on a patio in a coat) afternoon and then ate nachos and drank cider with my wife. Did a high-energy (40-60 thirty-second poses, followed by 20-odd one-minutes, and then slowed things down a tiny bit) modeling gig, which is basically Power Yoga, and got through it even though I was having a bad back pain day.
Attention: Paying attention to opportunities, to my wife’s emotional state, to what my lower back and hips are doing at any given time. But also paying attention to the green that’s coming back, to the food plants that are coming up in the yard, to the flowers that are starting to bloom, to the swelling magnolia buds on the trees, to the seedlings that are sprouting (finally!) in their peat pots.
Gratitude: For this body that is stronger and, therefore, in less pain, than it/I was this time two years ago. For a heart that mends (however slowly). For friends who forgive me when I’m late. For being able to find the venue reliably. For bonus money that let me buy new books. For being flexible on timing and date nights. For a wife who loves me and will talk to me when she’s feeling overwhelmed or freaked out about stuff. For central heating. For dandelion greens and nettle sprouts and Vietnamese garlic fronds ready to be harvested and eaten. For grape hyacinths in the front garden. For the chance to sleep in tomorrow morning. For modeling work that keeps coming, even in the slow months. For unexpected opportunities. For complements on my jewelry. For friends who are happy to see me, even multiple days in a row. For new books. For spring coming, slowly but surely. For hope.
Inspiration: Went to a panel featuring Amber Dawn, Casey Plett, and Joshua Whitehead, and I am so excited. 😀 CanLit Queer Femme Powerhouses for the WIN. 😀 I’m brought my notebook and also my wallet, and I now have three new books and lots of sweet, wonderful autographs. ❤ My People are amazing. We are ALWAYS amazing.
Creation: The chapbook continues. I’m mostly down to editing at this point, though the poems that need Actual Rewrites are definitely a factor (I’ve got… maybe two re-writes left to do?) but… I think this counts as creation. I came up with a vegan brownie recipe that, in spite of being on kind of the dry side (needs mashed black beans), was a total hit (even with The Children), and that counts as creation, too.
Meliad the Birch Maiden.
 Yes. Dandelions, nettles, wild grape, garlic mustard, lambs quarters, wild mustard, sow thistle, and all the other “weed” greens are listed as vegetables in my books.
 If this Scorpio “reveal all the truths” moon has anything to tell me, beyond “You still think so-and-so is a babe” (which is not news to anybody), it’s “Wow. I really, REALLY don’t want to go back to the Dog Stuff Factory”. Doesn’t mean I won’t do the work, but holy moly, that’s hitting me a LOT.
 Which, P.S., Joshua Whitehead said my earring game was on point, and I Will Never Wash This Hand Again, as the saying goes.
 Which reminds me, I have one such Wonderful People coming over tomorrow, and I need to pick some up to go with dinner.
 Which… those physio exercises are WORKING because what counts as a “bad” day now? Was a NORMAL day two years ago. Thank you all the gods and ancestors, holy moly. O.O