I’m (once again, still) doing Miss Sugar’s New Year New You Experiment in Radical Magical Transformation because I find it’s a really good way to kick my own ass into getting things done. It’s a good mix of practical, magical, and thought-based exercises to help accomplish specific and significant change in your own life. If it’s relevant to your interests, give it a try!
Instructions: In the original NYNY run, Week Four landed squarely on top of New Years and its accompanying “resolutions that you break after 2 weeks” energy. Thence the advice to take the week off – sort of – and ritually enjoy the fruits of one’s labour by doing something nice for oneself. I’m doing this prompt in mid-November, though, so I’m taking a slightly different spin on “Relax, Don’t Do It”.
Tarot Card: Four of Air
I picked this card – as opposed to the Hanged Man, which is usually my go-to for this prompt – because it’s not just a card of “time out”, it’s a card about boundaries and, as Oliver Pickle puts it in She Is Sitting In the Night, “respite from anxiety”.
Week Three happened in October. My client, from-whom I requested more paid hours, is doing their 2022 budgeting this month, which means I’ve been feeling, or possibly just behaving, like things are a little out of my hands.
That isn’t entirely true – which I’ll get to when I write up Week Five – but it took me a minute to own up to that. So let’s say that I’ve been using this “Week Four” time to work on the aspect of the King of Coins who “doesn’t succumb to workaholism or forget about pleasure”.
Specifically, I’ve been making an effort to shore up my work/life boundaries. My girlfriend has pointed out that my “work tunnel vision” is worse than hers, and she can hyper-focus, so that’s saying something. And I’ve noticed (again) that I get angry at my body for needing things like food or bathroom breaks (good grief) and… I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself. What on Earth?
With that in mind, I’m trying not to think about work stuff when it’s not Work Time – which I’m finding pretty difficult, tbh – and making myself step away from the computer (er… sometimes) and read analog books on the couch instead of frittering all of my free time away by doom scrolling. Trying to treat basic things like washing my body and feeding msyelf – you know, that stuff that will help Fetch to trust me and help me generally not feel like garbage – both as things I don’t have to earn and as things that I can do because they are also pleasurable. A basic practice to remind myself that “wants” and “needs” don’t have to be opposites, and often aren’t.
Last weekend I treated myself to two (online) concerts with my partners, wine and tiny donuts.
It’s been nice. I wouldn’t quite call it a respite from anxiety – I’ve been fretting about all the things that are out of my hands and whether or not I can make everything fall into place the way I want it to – but it’s been nice, and I want to keep it up.